Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What's good?

Alright. I have a confession to make.

It wouldn't take a genius to find out that this blog is losing it's content and regular updates. (Okay, it's not like I update frequently but at least I've never been away for this long.)

Thing is, I've came to realize that my although my blog does not get millions of views, it does get read by people whom I do not know actually reads my blog until they tell me, 'Oh, I read your blog the other day...'

That line, made me realize how much I need to watch my words and what I type so as not to hurt other people's feelings or them being judgmental towards me.

Many times, people are quick to judge about what you write, although you mean it in another way. I am definitely not one person who can express myself freely through words. I write, then I delete, write, delete. (Or in this case, type) Process repeats itself several times till I am finally satisfied about what I want to say. (Or most times, best if I don't say anything at all, thus lack of updates. They say 'ignorance is bliss' =p) The feeling of holding back is just so frustrating you'll just go, 'Oh, why bother?'

Trust me, if I have a private journal about what I can say freely, I don't think I will ever encounter the writer's block. Unfortunately, even that didn't work. I tried writing a diary once when I was 12 and guess what? My sisters dug it out several years later, read it and laughed at me.

I feel like the safest place my real thoughts can be kept is deep down inside me. I feel like I am transforming into an introvert, where I can only understand myself. I am not sure if this is a transformation I want but I know that it is time to evaluate my surroundings. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about whether I should remain comfortably in this position or take a step and move forward.

I guess this is a phase in my life where I am trying to discover myself and seeing which direction I am heading. You may not and most probably would not understand this whole thing, so please, stop trying to break the code and do your own interpretation.

I can also bet that what you're thinking right now is, 'Wah, why so emotional?'

See what I mean about being quick to judge? :)

Okay, I hope this is a good enough reason for my hiatus from blogging. Fine, partially that and also the laziness. Hehe.

1 comment:

p n g said...

This is ur blog... write what U feel ,not what U think others would feel....if ppl cannot "digest" what U blog...its their prerogative. Be in Control not " being controlled". Happy Blogging !