Mixed Emotions.

Is it possible to feel happy and sad at the same moment? I think it's possible, since people always tend to ask this question: 'Would you like to hear the good or bad news first?'

I am currently going through this feeling. Why?

Here's why. My kakak of three years is finally leaving us end of this month. She'll be going back to her hometown for good.

My mum has been asking me: Are you counting down the days till she goes back?

My answer was, 'No. For what?'

Looking back at my reply, it's either I'm heartless or I'm trying to avoid reality.

Avoid the reality as in she's never coming back and we're not gonna hire another one to replace her. That spells out house chores for me! Washing, cleaning, ironing. Oh boy, where do I even begin? Or worse still, HOW do I begin?! =(

Truth be told, I am sure every single one of us in my family will miss her. She is one of the siao-est kakak we've ever had. She has become so attached to us until she's part of the family already. She laughs the loudest in the family. She talks so loud you might think she wanna pick up a fight with you.

She's also the most chilling kakak ever. She watches Heart of Greed on Wah Lai Toi with us (and goes nuts over Moses Chan) and forces us to turn on the subtitles whenever we forget. (Not like I'll forget, cos I can't deal without subtitles. Heh)

Sometimes she will be the one whom I confide in whenever I'm down. (Though I might take awhile to talk because my Malay is quite karat-ed already)

We've been persuading her to extend her contract but she's definite about going back because she misses her family badly and vice-versa. =(

On the other hand, the happy news is that the whole family is flying off to Indonesia for the sake of sending her off and making sure she reaches home safely. Plus, we also get to spend a couple of days there for a holiday.

I guess that's a perfect example of having a string of mixed emotions. Actually I have more 'mixed' emotions but I can't possibly pen down my thoughts out here because it's way too personal and I don't think I'm ready to let the public know. Even though they might not care.

Oh well, this is just another random post of me letting out a sigh or two wondering what will happen in the days to come. (& praying I'll have the strength to overcome everyday)

PS: Sarah, Jie Jie is backing you up okay. Do your best! Jia You! (Poor girl was so nervous she couldn't sleep well last night)

PPS: This is by far the emo-iest entry I've written. What is wrong with me!